Fair but not so lovely

“Yashomati Maiya se bole Nandlala..Radha Kyun Gori? Main kyun Kaala?”

(Krishna asked his mother, why is Radha fair? and why am I so dark?)

Coming from a culture that takes so much pride in its inclusivity, diversity and plurality, India as a culture and nation has failed to recognise the elephant in the room. Possibly it is a dark room and the elephant can’t be seen! (Get it?! Get it?!? I know I have no friends)

Racism in India is so deeply woven and is so commonplace that it is hard to realise that something is wrong. It is only when we have relativity, we come to understand that it is a problem. Only when you have someone darker, you realise that you are fairer. Similarly, only because racism is a massive issue in the west, and internet being ‘The great almighty equaliser’ that it is, has helped the word ‘racism’ to knock on the doors of the intellect of the Indian bourgeois.

Folk songs such as the one mentioned above, right to contemporary Bollywood music, skin colour has been an important aesthetic attribute. Shahrukh Khan breaking a leg to “Gori. Gori. Gori.” or the legendary Mahmood crying over the overflowing quantities of melanin in his skin in “Hum Kaale hai toh”, has shaped the social conditioning of every sixth person on this planet since independent India’s inception. Even today, an independent, hard working girl, will have to please every God in the elysium to find a ‘nice buoy’, just because she is darker!

…and then we talk about a progressive India! SMH.

 

On the outset, you see people using the term ‘racism’ more often. It gives you the feeling that people are more aware but the definition is so lost. I talk of testimonies from my closest. Anyone being called a ‘darky’ or ‘kaala’ is frowned upon. They’re given a lecture on how it affects the person’s psychologically, but as soon as a cute fair baby is spotted, the most socially aware go weak in the knees with, “Kitna cute, golu golu aur gora hai!!” (The baby is so cute, chubby and fair). Deep inside fairness is still a sought after trait. It still affects the Indian psyche in ways unbeknownst to us. It’s a conditioning. A colonial hangover.

In a country where ‘Fair and Lovely/Handsome‘ is marketed by celebrities of the highest stature for decades, it is a force to reckon with. The indoctrination of absurd analogies like a fair skin equals getting laid or landing a dream job, has been hammered into young Indian minds with every ad break on Indian telly.

Funnily enough, these are products of companies, who in western countries, counter racism through their CSR units!

These companies are laughing at us, while making BIG moolah at the cost of our insecurities.

PLEASE TELL ME ONE PERSON WHO HAS TURNED FAIR USING THESE CREAMS?!?!?

Although, this infatuation with skin colour isn’t invented by these multinationals. They are just leveraging their outreach to fool us. It is a problem which is interwoven within the fabric of our identities.

My mother as I was growing up, would smear my face with layers of talcum powder because I’m the darkest in the family and quite a contrast to my fair sister. I was always the ‘Kaluram’ in the family. She would say it in jest and we all laugh at it. But while I was growing up, I was introduced to an insecurity that made me succumb to these multinational conspiracies. I applied countless tubes of lightning cream and fairness facewashes to no avail.

That is how my mother would prepare me (2nd from top) for class photos. With copious amounts of talcum powder.

Growing up in a ‘tier 2 city’ never let me understand that this is all bullshit of the highest standard.

It all dawned upon me when I left my city and went to a boarding school. It had people from all across the world and from Indian metros. Talk about a culture shock. I was the savage in a super sophisticated school. Initial conversations with a dorm buddy, eventually turned into an incredible relationship.

This guy became a true friend. Half Indian and half Swiss. Six pack abs. Curly hair. Pretty smile. Funny guy. Great conversationist. Bad ass demeanour. Pianist. And a kickboxer. Getting attention was very easy for him. Basically, a high school girls wet dream. (Or a boy’s, at least I thought so).

Oh and I missed the most important attribute! He was fair! Like European FAIR! As fair as milk, or doves, or moon or blah..

Him being fair overshadowed everything else he was, for me. He eventually became a very close friend. Like all adolescent boys, we would discuss women to rejuvenate us at the end of a long and tiring school day. He was telling me about the hotties that he’s been with. And then he shows me a picture of a dark South Indian girl who he thought was really hot!

Now dark and (enter any traits of desirability) was something, I thought can never coexist.

I shrieked, “SHE’S NOT HOT!!!”.

And he asks in bewilderment the reason for my rejection.

And I naively say, “She’s dark bro!”

This mofo laughs it off like I just told  joke.

He rolled his eyes, and said with a pronounced mock in his voice, “So she’s not hot just because she’s dark?”, gave himself another chuckle and moved on.

Well that was just something he said and forgot. But that one roll of the eye, let me lose all these shackles that were getting stronger as I was transcending into adulthood!

How can this fair and handsome guy, like someone who’s dark? Well he does like her. I looked at her again, without my filter, and I swear to f*ck she was hot as the burning hell!

Wow! Wait what? How can that be possible! I looked at my ‘Garnier Men’s Fairness Face Wash’, with the fair John Abraham adverts playing at the back of my mind. And with a very satisfying smile on my face I let the tube have its long deserved union with the dust bin.

 

My friends back in my tier 2 city (I am using tier-2 as 2 rs. ppl now) like I mentioned would frown upon someone being called dark. But without knowing, he would mention fairness as an attractive trait several times. His two month old niece, already is adored by the entire family. And no one misses to mention how she’s ‘gori’, him included.

And that is where the problem lies. It is what I learnt is called Cognitive Dissonance. The state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitude, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change. It is knowing the problems of racism, but not recognising when it is wrong. I mean it’s only an issue when it is used derogatorily, for a darker person, right?

WRONG!

As I write this on the plane about to take off in 20 mins, this insanely irritating kid (if you read beyond this, then all the breathing exercises have come in handy to maintain my demeanour, and I haven’t been arrested by the police for assaulting a kid and his parents) is shouting to his mum, “Maaaaa(fucking annoying), Maasi asked to take a picture of the plane and the air hostess”.

Walks in a black air hostess.

The kid on top of his voice shouts, “yeh air hostess toh kaali hai!” (The air hostess is a darky).

I cringe in my seat.

I look towards my co-passengers. They smiled, as if the kid cracked a cute joke. The smile of a talent hunter looking for the next comedic prodigy. The smile of a father seeing his son wear his shoes. The smile of a Panchen Lama, discovering the next Dalai Lama. 

No reprimand whatsoever from the parents (one of the reasons why he is such a curse to the ears).

I am thinking how embarrassed the parents would be, if this flight was in the UK?

How bewildered the co-passenger would be?

How offended would the air hostess be (thank fuck he said that in Hindi, on the other hand, she is possibly used to this mockery in flights to India)?

I can imagine the parents apologising to every passenger in person, promising to teach their kids better. And here, life goes on in la la land!

Snapchat, being the massive social networking giant it is, is widely used by the millennials in my city, and after clicking that group picture, everyone instinctively swipes their thumb right, to get a lighter filter, or what in the local tongue is known as the ‘fair and lovely filter’!

The examples are ceaseless.

The victims are suffering and unaware.

A two month old child, in a year, when she’s able to understand the semantics of human nature, will have a ridiculously strong neural connection towards a sense of superiority, as she’s being praised for her skin tone, making a reward mechanism. And a dark kid will go through the exact opposite cycle of a lifelong inferiority complex.

We speak of peace and equality.

And then there are celebs shouting on TV. Appealing to young impressionable people, to accept themselves in their own skin.

And the next ad is about a woman who fails her interview because she’s dark. Then she applies this magic cream, which has amazing scientific properties to substantiate its claim.

A touch of science also helps pool in, the otherwise not so gullible, urban English speaking educated population.

The socio-economically backward are already sold. They don’t bother with the science. They see the girl six tones lighter and they know where they’ll invest there hard earned money.

Sorry, I digress.

She applies the magic cream. Some sorcery happens, and she’s lighter in 5 seconds. Goes to the same interview, in the same clothes, within the same dimension.

The interviewers are awestruck! It’s the same girl, but lighter!

Her qualifications are still the same, but she’s lighter!

Voila!

Bags the job!

Stop wasting time and hundreds and thousands of bucks on education.

Spend 50₹ and get that job!

 

Lost for words.

I want to hate a lot lot more, but I think my mental state is altered by the constant “Maaaaa!” every five fucking seconds. It’s not letting me be fair to my words. (Sorry for that)

Deep breath in. Slowly out.

The funniest contradiction is that in India we use lightening cream and in the west, people use tanning beds.

The same people, whose skin we find as a mark of aesthetic excellence, want to look more like us.

It gives such an interesting insight about human nature!

No one is satisfied with what they have!

 

I mean if Krishna is dark as the song says, and Kali is ‘Kali’ (didn’t leave much scope for imagination), then why are they depicted as BLUE in Indian arts? Don’t tell me they ran out of dark brown colour in their palette!?

It is because, it is a problem that has haunted the subcontinent since its earliest inhabitants.

It is because, it gives people a sense of superiority. It helps them find eminence in their lives over things that they don’t have control over.

It is because, like caste, reservation, poverty and several other hiccups in the Indian narrative are recognised as a problem, racism isn’t!

It is this mentality that allows the Kapil Sharma’s to crack utterly distasteful jokes on national television, and let it pass without realising the larger implications of his words.

It is this worldview, that makes them beat up black students peacefully studying in our country.

So much for Atithi Devo Bhava!

Acceptance will come from within, your skin will just continuously affect your ego! And leave you in an unescapable limbo! Racism has to understood in its spirit before it is tackled as an issue.

The generation above has accepted what was given to them. Are we set to go through the same cycle of stifling voices, trampling over personalities and accepting this regressive mentality.

Or are we ready to step into the bigger world, and take India to the heights it belongs?

Next time you see someone casually practising racism, point them out. Make them aware and make India truly a land of inclusivity, plurality and acceptance.

Give it a thought.